In the entire field of self-help and human relations, there is one concern that stands out above all others — how to repair a broken relationship.
In fact, on the popular article directory EzineArticles.com, the top article in this category as of this writing has a whopping 100,418 views! To put this in perspective, the next top article in the human relations category as “only” 38,221 views!
So why does the topic of getting your significant other back seem to be so much more popular than finding your significant other in the first place?
I think it’s because people are inherently more afraid of losing something they already have than of gaining something they don’t have. We’re more worried about losing $1000 than we are about winning $1000 in the lottery. People don’t like to lose what they already have!
The same rule applies to breakups. We don’t want to lose the one we are so close to.
Now think of how we usually respond to this. We obsess over the other person that Virtual Magician Hire after a breakup. We may call too much. Maybe we “just happen” to show up at the places that we know our ex frequents, hoping to see him or her! In other words, we are obsessive.
This is absolutely the worst thing you can do! You are sending out the signals of being desperate. You are putting yourself in the needy place.
Think of what attracted your ex to you in the first place. You probably made charming conversation. You seem self-confident. Exactly the opposite of the way you’re coming across now!
Never overlook the importance of appearing self-confident. Alexandra Penney and Norman F. Stevens, Jr., The authors of the book “How to Make Love to a Man” interviewed over 200 men of all ages From various ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, and found that “self-confidence” was the most attractive and desirable trait. And when Michael Morgenstern, author of “How to Make Love to a Woman,” asked women what they find the most attractive in men, the answer was virtually the same!
Another reason why we may be more concerned about getting back together with our ex is shyness. Researchers have found that 80% of all people have said they are shy at some point in their lives and 40% describe themselves as currently shy!
Ironically, getting over any shyness you have about meeting people may be the best way to get your ex back! When you get out and socialize, when you meet new people and you increase your popularity, your ex notices this, and it sends a powerful psychological message! Suddenly, you become the one who is desirable! Your ex feels that he or she may lose you instead of the other way around! Your ex becomes jealous!
So brush up on your conversational skills. Get out more. Meet new people. It may be the best thing you can do to save your old relationship.