When speaking of honesty, I am referring to honesty with your partner and being honest with yourself. Let’s first talk about being honest with you. People enter into relationships for a variety of different reasons. Some do it because they enjoy the companionship while others work better in life when they feel as if they are on a team. Some jump into relationships because they feel that is what is expected of them. No matter what your reason, you must be willing to take an honest look at why you want to be in a relationship. When we have not been honest with ourselves or about why we are in a relationship or why you have chosen the partner that you have, then the foundation for passion and romance is off kilter from the beginning. You must first decide what you really truly want for yourself. How do you envision your life with someone? What type of person makes a good partner for YOU? What type of relationship feeds your soul and inspires you to love and thrive?
You may not even realize that there is an ongoing internal conflict that perpetuates inside. What we want, what we need, what is right for us, and what we think others might think is best for us, may strongly differ. When we are not true to ourselves, we are living a life that is off balance. If you notice that you feel unsettled or off balance in your current relationship, it is possible that you are in the need of some personal honesty. Have you chosen a partner that is not the best match for you? Have you let something or someone go making you wonder why? Have you not allowed yourself to put both feet in the relationship Touches Place in Communication so that you can dance? Have you been living a healthy well balanced life? Have you taken a good hard look?
You must be willing to explore all areas of your life to determine if you are taking into account your overall health, including your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, interpersonal, and professional wellbeing. Your partner choices must correlate with your interests, your passions, and your value system and relationship goals in order to be powerfully meaningful and passionate for the long haul.
It is important to remember that in pursuing a goal for your relationship to be filled with passion, romance and love, you must be willing to grow and modify your own behavior and adapt to changing circumstances. Your vision for a passionate relationship should not look like the Great Wall of China which is close to impossible to get through. Instead, it must be one of commitment, desire, determination, flexibility and adaptability.
Honesty with your partner
Being honest with your partner probably goes without saying, but let’s mention it anyway as a simple reminder. Honesty in a relationship is IMPERATIVE! It is vital to the health and wellbeing of all relationships. In addition, a lack of honesty is the very thing that steals away passion, lust and romance. Lack of honesty builds up in the form of withholds, ie, keeping your true feelings hidden to the point that it eats away at the very goals you desire to achieve. Understanding, trust, openness, and faith in your partner are the crucial ingredients to feelings of friendship and intimacy. On the other hand, it is extremely difficult to be invested in a relationship with a partner who twists or withholds information that is vital to the relationship.
However, being honest all the time can be difficult, threatening, and even scary. As human nature goes, we all have overwhelming internal tensions that can tug us away from telling the truth and being fully honest with our partner. One of the most powerful of the tugs of war is fear – fear of what our partner will think of us; fear of how they will react to our concerns; fear of how they will use the information we have finally divulged. When you love someone, the thought of disappointing them can make it very difficult to be totally honest.
